Being Content with being Refined.

How many of you want to be more like Jesus?Before you all say yes, take a minute to really think about the question. Think about exactly what being like Jesus means. Now, how many of you are willing to undergo the process of becoming like Jesus? The process of exposure and pruning. The process of being tested in every obstacle of life? Many people don't realize this is necessary in the refining process. If you want your end result to look like Jesus, then you must be aware and ready for God to do some major exposure of your heart. 

When we pray and ask God to make us more like Jesus, we willingly ask Him to come inside and remove everything that isn't like Him. This is where things get ugly and messy; but the outcome is always a beautiful masterpiece. During this process, God begins to perform an open heart transplant on us. But instead of you being sedated on drugs to help you sleep through the process and make you numb to the pain; God keeps you awake through it all. It is during this process, where we really learn how weak we are and how much we need our Savior. 

To be honest with you all, this is where God has me. I am in the refining process and I feel as though I am in the lowest valley I have ever been in. I can look back in my prayer journal and see many prayers written asking God to make me more like Him. I always find myself saying "more of You and less of me God" and not realizing the gist of what I was asking God to do. Now here I find myself daily crying out to God asking Him to help me get through this process. This blog isn't like the others where I give you some sort of lesson on Scripture, but it is more of a transparent post. I haven't blogged in almost a year and I just felt it was time to update everyone on where God has me because i so strongly feel many of you are in the refining process like me.

Since my last post, God has continually been faithful to me. His love goes on and on and on for me and I still am trying to grasp the idea of "why me?" Why do I deserve all of the love He gives me? Some days it is so hard for me to accept His love, because I am so unworthy.  This past year, God placed it on my heart to start going to a bible college and study Biblical Counseling. He then proceeded to open the door for me to go to Thailand and spread the gospel. I am still in disbelief at how He provided for my trip. Then, He showed His love and kindness again by giving me a new job that works well with my school schedule and I am able to afford daycare. Now, He has called me to go to Germany and Hungary in March to spread the gospel. It has been a long journey to get to where I am now, and I am still being prepared for the next season of my life. So what exactly is the next season in my life? I believe God is calling me to the nations. I don't know exactly what that will look like but I know this is what is in His will for my life. But whatever it may look like I am willing to be His hands and feet.

So you're probably wondering, what does this have to do with the refining process of becoming like Jesus? Well, in order for me to minister to the nations, God has to refine me. God is making me to be more like Him so that I can effectively spread His gospel. I can't go out to the nations with hate my heart and preach on a message of loving one another? That would be hypocritical of me. That is why God is refining me. I have had seasons where God has worked on my heart, but this season He is pulling up some deep roots. These roots were watered and nurtured for years and created a garden full of lies, deception, hurt and rage. This pruning season of my life isn't easy. What took years to create so much damage will take a long time to remove the hurt and repair my heart. So many of my problems I have had and what I currently am dealing with stem from either 1 of 2 of these deep roots that God is plucking from my heart; which is insecurity and inferiority. 

I didn't realize how deep the spirit of insecurity and inferiority had made its way into my heart until the other day. I was just crying out to God asking Him, why on earth do i feel so miserable when I am so blessed? And He spoke to me "Truth is not based on your emotions, your worth is not based on your performance and that is the scale you have been judging yourself by. You don't know how to receive my love, you won't allow yourself to because you don't think you are worthy of my love because of your past. You count yourself as a failure because you can't do what the next person does, but what you fail to realize is in your weakness thats when I am made strong. No longer do you have to find your security in man but in Me. No longer do you have to feel inferior to others because you are a royal priesthood, you are one of my chosen people, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Receive my love." After that, I made up my mind to receive God's love despite how I see myself. This is a daily struggle for me. Everyday I don't feel good enough of equipped as many others, but then God knocks on the door of my heart and when I let Him in He sings and lavishes His love upon me and reminds me that I am His. I don't have to do a thing to access His smile, His delight, His love because He freely gives it to me. His love goes on and on and on and on. He breaks off the lies of insecurity and inferiority off of me with the truth of His word. 

This revelation of God's love has been the only medication to help me get through this refining process. While God continues daily to perform surgery on my heart and remove all roots of insecurity and inferiority I remind myself that he does this because He loves me and wants me to walk in truth and the full revelation of who He has called me to be. There is literally thousands of lies I have believed about myself that I spoke over myself or someone close to me has spoken over me that has deepened the roots of insecurity and inferiority. Everyday when a lie is exposed, the Lord breaks off the bondage that the lie had me in with the truth of His word. 

This is an emotional process, things that I buried away in my heart from my past is being brought back up and I am remembering things I pushed to the back of my mind and the pain is unimaginable. Yet, daily God is reminding me that His love is deeper than any ocean. I am so thankful that God knew I wouldn't have been able to handle the fullness of Him answering my prayers of Him making me like Jesus, so He continually is showering me with His unending love.

So, my encouragement to you is to trust God with your heart. Allow Him to go in and remove things that is hindering you to go forward in your walk with Him. Don't despise the refining process that comes with being like Jesus. Through it all, God will speak truth over you and fill you with more of Him. Be encouraged in the fact that He is so diligent in making sure that you know your worth. We serve such a good God!

Give it All Up

Today I had it impressed on my heat to write a blog. I haven't felt lead to write one in a while so I was kind of shocked when I felt God telling me to. I didn't know what subject I should touch bases on so I kind of avoided writing this. Then God told me "write to the viewers about sending in prayer request." At first I thought, this isn't a good idea. No one is going to send me any request but then I realized God knows what He is doing and I should just trust Him. For some of you that's what He wants you to realize as well. He wants you to know that He is God and he is in control, so give it all up to Him. All your worries, depression, anger, hurt, sinful past, regrets... lay it at His feet. The Bible says in Matthew 18:19

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."

If you believe in your heart that God is in control, only if you let Him be and you ask Him for strength and victory over a situation how many of you believe that if you pray for it the it will happen? I do. Especially if I am praying for myself and ask someone else to pray with me for that certain thing as well. There is power in prayer and the many tactics of the devil is to try and make us ashamed of things we go through in order for us not to reach other to other believers and ask for prayer. I bind that stronghold of shame and speak courage over your life. If any of you need prayer, my email is amberwheeler57@gmail.com! Don't be scared to reach out to me, a fellow believer who knows how it feels. So feel free to email me! Even if we don't know one another, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and we need one another!

Love You All!!

Bounded: My Two Year Journey of Being Enslaved in Sin

My Story of Having Relations With The Wrong Guy

For the last year and a half, I have experienced what many Christians call a dry season. Throughout this time, I went astray from God's word. At first, it was little things, like I wouldn't have my quiet time in the morning, or I wouldn't go to my small group, or say a prayer before I go to bed. Eventually, I stopped doing it all together. Throughout this time, I knew my boundaries and knew that I didn't want to fall in to deep so I strayed away from some things. I eventually ended up back in the same place God pulled me out of. I thought that if I didn't do what seemed to be the real "big" sins I would be okay. I soon realized the "little" ones would lead me to them. Yes, I know there's no little or big sins but sometimes it feels like it. Especially in today's society, we make it seem like the person who has committed murder is worse than the person who committed adultery. Although it is very wrong to kill someone else, it's also wrong to create an ungodly soul tie with someone God hadn't planned for you to be with, that's an act of robbery. Also, God stated in 1 John 5:17 that "All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death." This is my story of the sin that didn't lead to physically death but to spiritual death.

To understand how I ended up where I did, we must start back to when I started college. I was so eager to finally start a new chapter in my life, without my parents, without boundaries and with new adventures ahead of me. Before I went away to college, I was an avid member of my church, I was strong in my faith up until the summer before college. I started to fall into sin, but I knew when I went to college I wanted to find a group of strong believers to surround myself with because I wanted to stay grounded in Christ. Upon arriving to college, I started to talk a guy. At first, it was small talk then we eventually started having more in depth conversations; so it seemed. It didn't seem to be a big deal to me because I was talking to numerous of excited freshmen about our new life at school and planning on hanging out. When I got to college, I instantly made friends with some amazing girls and my roommate. We all made a bond that is indescribable. As a group we decided to go to a party that was considered one of the "biggest parties of the year." This is where my downfall began. We as Christians are to not be unequally yoked.. So what was I, as a woman of God doing at a party? What was a barely lit light (because I was already struggling prior to coming to college) doing in the darkness?  I fell prey to the enemy yet again. I had conformed to the ways of the world by not dressing modestly, engaging in dancing that wasn't pleasing to God and listening to secular music. At the party, I was exposed to many things... many demons, which attached to my spirit woman because of prior demonic spirits I had allowed myself to engage with during the summer and some past experiences before then. This is when I became addicted to the darkness.

After that, I never missed a party. I was always there... in the darkness. My light soon was dimmed, overshadowed by the dark. I became one with the world. I lost all my morals. Now of course, the devil wouldn't be him if he didn't try to keep you bound in sin, so he sent me a piece of forbidden fruit.. the boy I was conversing with prior to coming to college. We didn't talk for the first couple weeks of school but one day he text me asking to hang out. Me being apart of the darkness now, the demons inside of me was attracted to the demons inside of him (yes, demons because he was not a born again Christian and I was a backslidden Christian.) We agreed to hangout that night. When he arrived that's when I knew there was no turning back, our demons had bonded.  We started to hangout and fall into sin with one another ever since then, that is when the ungodly soul tie formed. There seemed to be no cure to this cancerous disease. After months of this toxic relationship, it ended due to me finding out he was involved with someone else (shocking right? that's pretty typical for someone who is unsaved!) Months past and the demons inside of him was missing him, so I tried to feel the void by talking to other guys and partying.. nothing was like him. I eventually gave in and contacted him and we rekindled the old flame. The semester started to dwindle down and we continued a never ending cycle of fighting and making up. When December came I was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually drained. One night while I was walking from his dorm, I broke down and begged God to forgive me. I asked for deliverance and He told me to text him and end the relationship and I did. I began to get back in the word of God. Over the Christmas break, I went back home. For that whole month, I started going back to church and was being filled with the Holy Spirit. I finally started to feel normal again. As the break came to an end, I was worried that I would fall back into sin, that's when my friend Cierra who goes to LSU told me about Sigma Phi Lambda, a Christian sorority. After praying about it, I decided to join. The girls were amazing and held me accountable. Towards the end of the spring semester I stopped chasing after God. My ungodly soul tie was never properly addressed and it got the best of me. I got in contact with the same guy and once again fell into temptation. This caused the beginning of a new depth into my dry season.

After the semester ended, I returned back to Texas. I started working and became a lukewarm Christian. Sometimes I read the Bible and sometimes I didn't. I didn't communicate with the guy because I knew in my heart, I wanted to end the relationship and it would be best for me. But towards the end of the summer, I contacted him again. Our demons were excited to be in contact with one another. We ended up planning to hang out as soon as I returned back to school. Once I returned, we hung out almost every couple days or so. I continually fell into temptation. In September I didn't feel like myself, I began to feel different. I met up with him one morning just to talk and grab a bite to eat. I told him I had scheduled a doctor's appointment to see what was wrong and I went to the doctor. After leaving the doctor I messaged him and told him I was pregnant. He was filled with anger and blamed me for "trapping' him. He told me I needed to get an abortion. We didn't talk after that but the next day I told him I wasn't getting an abortion because it is against my faith (the faith I had abandoned to please myself.) He told me he couldn't be there because he already had children. I felt alone, stupid and ashamed. I felt as though I couldn't go to God because I had walked away from Him and chose a guy (who barely conversed with me when we were together and I barely knew him to be honest) over him. I told my parents and was shocked that through their disappointment and pain, they supported me and my decision of choosing life for my child. I began to inform my friends in my immediate circle, everyone uplifted me in prayer. A special friend (who is now my child's godmother) Abby took it a step above and beyond. She was there like no other, going to doctor appointments, cooking for me, taking me to church, sending me scriptures, keeping me encouraged, her mom even came into town to pray with me and to make sure I wouldn't choose an abortion. Months past and I slowly began to forgive myself and return to God, then in November the boy messaged me apologizing for the things he had said to me and promised to be there. I fell for the trap again because I still had yet to properly address the soul tie we had created. We started to hang out again and I fell into temptation. I informed him on my decision to move back to Texas at the end of that semester. He filled my ears with sweet, simple nothings and promises that he never fulfilled. A week before I left, he began to become flaky once again and told me he wouldn't be apart of my child's life. At this point I was over it.

I moved back to Texas and didn't speak to him until I found out the gender. I decided to let him know. He didn't care and after an argument told me to leave him alone. During this time, I still wasn't close to God like I was. I was afraid to chase after him like I used to because I thought I was worthless now, but God showed me I wasn't.  Throughout my whole pregnancy, he placed people in my life who blessed me more than I could imagine. He made sure I knew he was ravished with me and my unborn child and that my child was good, with or without his father. I finally gave birth to my son, Carson, and revealed him to the world. Everyone was shocked because I only told a handful of people. God revealed how much He loved me through my son. He was beautiful. After I had him I was in tears because I couldn't believe how precious he was. I couldn't believe I had the privilege to call him mines. I realized that's how God viewed me. I am his precious daughter that he is proud to call His!  A month later, I decided to let his father know I had him because I didn't want my son to grow up and think I didn't try everything in my power to involve him in his life.. Fortunately, he was/is uninterested to be involved. I say fortunately because it has made me realize he wasn't the one God has planned for me. Through this realization, I have been able to address the ungodly soul tie he and I created and have been healed through repentance by the Holy Spirit.

I am a proud single mother. I am confident that God is preparing a man for me that will love my son and I. Until then, I am thankfully for the God-fearing men God is placing in Carson's life who will minster to Him and teach him how to be a man of God. Every day I thank God for my son because he saved me. If it wasn't for him I would still be bound in sin. Thank you God for your undeserving grace!

Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable.

 Since being here at the University of Arkansas, I've been faced with a very big battle called temptation. Being six and a half hours away from my parents its every kids dream to finally have freedom but for me its been a nightmare. This freedom in this unknown place has opened up so many opportunities for temptation to come in, it’s kind of overwhelming. I'm so used to having boundaries being set for me and a list of do's and don'ts from my parents to protect me but being here there are no boundaries and there are no rules. Being me, I'm not used to that. Growing up in Keller, I believe I was blessed to be around the kids in my community because even though some of them in my school were doing bad things it still was a great majority of us who weren't. That majority of us were known around school as the Christians. Wellbeing at a college with over 25,000 people it's hard to pick out the real Christians because there are so many people! It has been hard for me to find a community of people that I feel like I genuinely belong. Don't get me wrong, I have met wonderful girls on campus who I feel I can really just open up to especially Britni and Abby but still I feel so lonely. Being here, I have been faced with multiple temptations such as drugs, drinking, partying, sexual immortality and so forth. It has been so hard fighting those things; maintain good grades, and trying to have a social life. I honestly ask myself every day is it even worth it. When it comes to being a Christian I am very hard on myself, so when I fall into temptation I beat myself up about it because I am trying so hard to be a perfect Christian, but God made me realize there is no such thing as a perfect Christian. I always knew that but the thought of Christians being set part made me feel like we were supposed to be perfect. Yet again, God humbly reminded me that being a Christian is not easy. We are set apart as in when we do fall we get right back up, repent and continue through this journey. I know personally, when I fall back into temptation, I become scared to face God and avoid Him for a while and start doing things I used to do. In the Bible, when Jesus approached Simon Peter he states that

Mark 1:16-18
     "Now as he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
     And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
     And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him."

Jesus offered Peter a new title in life. No more would he be a fisherman of fish but a fisherman of men and spread the gospel. He was giving him an opportunity to take a leap out of His comfort zone and live a new life and work for a new master. That's what God does for us. He has offered us all a new job as fishermen of men. Think about it, this job comes with enduring suffering, letting go of your pride, steering away from sin and spreading the Gospel for one big paycheck of eternal life. In the requirements for this job he didn't promise it would be easy, he told us when we fall to get back up again and continue to fight in this raging war, yet so many of us fall after we are doing so good and we get scared because we feel like we messed up forever and we are hypocrites so we avoid God. We end up going back to doing things we feel comfortable doing because we don't want to face conviction.

Luke 5:4-5

"Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

We start to feel like we aren't useful to God's plan anymore. Peter went through the same thing. He knew so much about the fishing business and being back to where he was comfortable, he had no hope because he was just so sure that they weren't going to catch anything. This happens to us as well. We fall back into our sin which we were once comfortable in and don't think God can use us in that situation, as if He won’t meet us where we are and work miracles. God loves to come in the midst of our storms that we caused and remind us He is Lord and can make all things work together for our good to bring glory to His name.

Luke 5:6-11

⁶ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. ⁷ So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.⁸ When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” ⁹ For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, ¹⁰ and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” ¹¹ So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.”

When we are in the midst of falling into sin, feeling condemnation and going back to the worldly things that we once loved we, God comes in and proves to us again just how powerful He is and how he still wants to use us. I know, from dealing with situations like this recently I have learned that we as Christians are scared to be out of our comfort zone. Speaking for myself, I start going so hard after God then get scared I'm going to fall back into sin and start pursing God as much and eventually I fall back into sin; which is a tactic from Satan. He uses fear of the future to draw us away from God. But I assure you, if it's a sin you fear constantly that you will fall for again then you haven't fully surrendered that sin over to God, this is something I struggle with too. But find peace in the fact that when you do surrender it you are giving it to a King who has the power to break you free from the bondage that that sin put you in. You won’t deal with it anymore and when Satan tries to bring it back into your life, you will be more powerful than before and can withstand the temptation. It's definitely a process, but God doesn't want you comfortable with that anymore, and I know you don't want to be comfortable with that sin anymore. I pray that the thought of whatever you are being tempted with becomes disgusting to you and you despise it. I pray that God breaks those chains and you will no longer feel scared about what the future holds because you know your future is being held in the hands of a glorious heart, I hope that you find comfort in the uncomfortable and your heart desires God's desires and you take a leap out in faith.

God Bless! ~

What does Love Look Like?

 

 

Being in college, it is almost mandatory to find your "soul mate." It's been told that college is when you find your spouse so many of us are searching for the one. When searching for the one we must know exactly what love looks like. We always hear verse 1 Corinthian 13:4-7 on what love is and sadly it has even become cliché. But in this blog we are going to do a case study on it and take a deeper look at the verse. The amplified version puts it like this

 

^"4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

⁵ It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

⁶ It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

⁷ Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]."

 

Before we break down the verse, we must understand what God created love to be. The word love can be properly defined in terms of action, attitude, and behavior. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul didn't give us a theoretical definition of love but rather a list of things love exemplifies so we can be aware of it when we see it. Now, back to the verse. It starts with love endures (stand no matter what hardships comes our way) long. Love is willing to wait for long periods of time through suffering for the one it cares about which causes it to be patient. Love is kind, it is gentle and cares about the person and their well being. Love isn't envious nor filled with jealousy. Jealousy implies to being displeased with the success of others. Yet, true love desires the success of others. Love is not boastful; it's not big-headed but rather big-hearted. Love is not conceited, it is selfless not selfish. Love is not rude. There are some Christians who seem to take delight in being blunt, justifying it with being "honesty." They will say, “I’m just telling it like it is.” But love doesn’t always tell it like it is; it doesn’t always verbalize all its thoughts, especially if those thoughts don’t build others up. There is a graciousness in love which never forgets that courtesy. Love doesn't seek its own; it is not worried about winning or being the best, love doesn't worry about its own selfish wants. Love is not easily provoked. It is slow to become annoyed and refuses to let other's under their skin. Love isn't a "bookkeeper" of wrong things done to it. That causes hatred and animosity to build up and that is not a characteristic of love. Love takes no joy in any evil or unrighteousness. Love rejoices when the truth prevails. It loves the exposure of what is right. Love bears all things, which means it "covers up" or "protects" what it loves. Love believes all things, it gives the person it loves the benefit of the doubt. Love hopes all things, love is a big believer. Love endures all things, love holds it position at all cost.
Reflecting off that, we see this kind of love through Jesus Christ. he is patient with us, even when we sin and he waits for us years and years until we turn to Him. He is kind and gentle, when we need Him, He is always there holding us and letting us know He is Lord and he will take care of our problems. He is not jealous when we love other people because love is an spiritual gift that we received through Him and when we love we bring glory to His name. He isn't boastful; he doesn't rub in our face that He took up our cross when He didn't have to. He doesn't think of Himself, but rather He thinks of our wellbeing. He is slow to anger and doesn't keep a record of the wrong we have done to Him; he forgives.  He doesn't find excitement in our suffering, when we suffer so does He. He rejoices when we learn the gospel because it is the truth. he covers us up and protects us. He sees the best in us and hopes nothing but good upon our life. He stands firm in his relationship with us and never gives up.
Now, look at the person you're interested in. Do they love you like Jesus does? If not why are you with them? God has prepared someone for you that will love you like Jesus. Jesus love for us is different than any love. Jesus has an agape love. Agape means selfless love of one person for another without sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature.) Humans can't love like this because we are sinful by nature. We have selfishness somewhere in us. When we love, we don't love perfectly; we love with a phileo love. Phileo means brotherly love; affection. We see the difference in these two types of love in Acts. Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he loved him. John 21:15-17 states

 “Jesus asked, "do you agapao me?"
Peter replied, "I phileo you."

  Jesus asked, "do you agapao me?"
Peter replied, "I phileo you."

 Jesus asked, "do you phileo me?"
Peter replied, "I phileo you."

Jesus was asking him does he love him with all his heart, but Peter in some manuscripts says Peter was grieved and replied back "Lord you know everything; You know that I love You [that I have a deep, instinctive, personal affection for You, as for a close friend]." As humans, that's all we can offer others, a deep emotional based love. But when we ask God for his love and to love others like He does we begin to love them the way 1 Corinthians 13 describes love.

A lot of you are in a relationship where you have phileo love, but God wants to give you a spouse who will agape love you through their agape love given from Jesus Christ. I pray that God will show each and everyone of you what true love is, through Himself first, the church, your family and friends and then through a special significant other.

Stay Blessed!~

Why I Choose to be Pentecostal

As a child, I grew up in a COGIC church which is typically black. It's generally the same as a Pentecostal church- just historically black. When I moved to Texas my family and I jumped around from COGIC churches for a bit and eventually stopped going all together which was fine by me because I felt judged by my own people every time I entered the church. It was more of a fashion show rather a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. During those years we stopped going it seemed like our family was going through a lot; from financial stability to disobedience in my sister and I's behavior. Most of the problems came from me because I was a very difficult child. I guess I just wanted attention. Around 2011, my friends invited me to an event called One Night at their church Milestone. Not being in a church for years or even a youth group this was pretty cool to me seeing every kid in Keller at a church. That night the pastor preached the gospel and many students including myself gave their life to Christ. When you decide to become an actual Christian it's like sparks flying inside your heart- it's an amazing encounter. Soon after that I visited the church a couple more times and started noticing things. Even though I hadn't been to church in a long time I knew that playing Rihanna in the church wasn't something that should be accepted. I didn't understand that at all and a lot of the students where there just to hangout. It seemed as if the church was watering down their faith to be socially accepted and I didn't like how it was separated. Everyone had their own group of friends and I didn't feel socially accepted. So my friend invited me to her church, which was a Baptist church. I went here for a while and I loved it at first. It was different because I was actually in a group. I met a lot of girls who were on fire for God, but still I wasn't close to them. The only thing enjoyable about that church was the youth group, then we would go to "big" church after youth and fall asleep. I didn't want that, I wanted more than just a lesson; I wanted REVIVAL. I wanted a youth group were there wasn't any groups and clicks. Eventually, I realized this was what was happening at this church as well. It was such a huge youth everyone had their own group of friends and only came to social. I  wanted to be apart of something that changed lives. I wanted other people to feel those sparks I felt when I gave my life to Christ. I wanted to spread that and I didn't feel like any of these churches were trying to do that. After weeks of prayer, God answered my prayers and my friend's pastor began to eat lunch with us at school every Thursday. Pastor Randy would always let us know that "God has a plan and purpose for my life." He doesn't know it be he legit changed my life this year. I finally decided to test out their church. They had Tuesday night services and I tagged along with them. I had never heard of a Pentecostal church until then. As we got there I saw the big sign saying welcome to the Upper Room Church. I was nervous when we walked in because I didn't want this to be a fail like all the others. When we walked into the sanctuary I could tell something was different about this church than the others; I quickly learned that the difference was that this church had the Holy Spirit. I will never forget when we walked in the worship team was singing You're an Army by Rick Pino. It kind of frightened me because everyone was jumping around and being slayed in the spirit, then I realized that's the revival I had been looking for. I wanted to be so consumed with God that I jumped for joy and laid out in the spirit. During youth, their number one rule was no cliques! I loved this because it gave everyone a change to be accepted. Everyone quickly came up to me and greeted me, and even asked for my number so we could hangout. They seemed so interested in me and didn't care that I had on jeans and a hoodie. That night I had a powerful encounter with God. Now throughout the times I was looking for a church and attending the Baptist and Non-denominational church I was still falling into sin because I wasn't being equipped with the tools I needed to fight off temptation but rather I was being worried with the burden of trying to fit in. After going here, I changed completely. I had had my first real encounter with God other than when I had decided to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior. I began to go to the church's services on Tuesday Saturday and Sunday and even went evangelizing on Fridays! I Like how involved in the community and how we gave the people the true gospel and didn't have to water it down. Unfortunately, the devil didn't like what he was seeing and tried to get me away from the church. He tried to make my parents think I was in some kind of cult, but through prayer my parents came to the church and saw it was filled with nothing but the Holy Spirit and people whose desire was to give God all of the glory He deserved. It was different for my mom, because it wasn't a typical black church and different for my dad because He's Methodist. To me, in this generation I don't think it matters what color you are. We all worship the same God and we should be able to worship in the same house. In Heaven we all will be together worshipping Him for eternity so why cant we do it on Heaven without judging our fellow brothers and sisters? I choose to be Pentecostal because it's the first church I felt accepted in- there'd no racial barrier, no judgment and no condemnation. The gospel isn't watered down and the people can admit they aren't perfect, we all need Jesus! I've had amazing encounters at the Upper Room. Since going there I've received the gift of speaking in tongues, got to work in the church nursery and help with the youth, had experiences where gold dust has fallen down on us from Heaven and had amazing fellowship with amazing Christians. I thank God that he placed me at the Upper Room Church and used Pastor Steve, Pastor Randy and Pastor James to help me grown into the Christian I am today. I love being Pentecostal. It's more than just a label to me. It means a group a people who are accepting of others and admit they are broken and need Jesus because they cant do it on their own. I am proud to say I am Pentecostal.

Becoming Victorious in the Battles!

Something I need everyone to know today is temptation is NOT a sin. You are not sinning if you are being tempted. However, how you decided to deal with the temptation will determine if you fall into sin or not. The devil uses temptation as a tactic of condemnation to make us fall into sin and be bound in it. Like I always remind you guys... there is no condemnation in Christ. Don't fall for it! There's some of us who seem to constantly be in war with temptation. Sometimes we even keep falling into sin and it doesn't seem like we can overcome it. Let me tell you something,1 John 2:2 tells us that Jesus is "the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the world."

Jesus died for that sin already. When it comes to sin there's two parts to it: falling into it or walking away from it. Because we are humans we are prone to fall into sin, it is in our nature. Paul described it best in Romans 7 when he said
"I don’t understand why I act the way I do. I don’t do the good I want to do, and I do the evil I hate. ¹⁶ And if I don’t want to do what I do, that means I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ But I am not really the one doing the evil. It is sin living in me that does it. ¹⁸ Yes, I know that nothing good lives in me—I mean nothing good lives in the part of me that is not spiritual. I want to do what is good, but I don’t do it. ¹⁹ I don’t do the good that I want to do. I do the evil that I don’t want to do. ²⁰ So if I do what I don’t want to do, then I am not really the one doing it. It is the sin living in me that does it.
²¹ So I have learned this rule: When I want to do good, evil is there with me. ²² In my mind I am happy with God’s law. ²³ But I see another law working in my body. That law makes war against the law that my mind accepts. That other law working in my body is the law of sin, and that law makes me its prisoner. ²⁴ What a miserable person I am! Who will save me from this body that brings me death? ²⁵ I thank God for his salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
We were born into sin, therefore we are sinful. As Christians we desire to do good but there's bad living within us. Imagine your heart, it has an irregular beat that causes you problem after problem but God loves you so much that He offers you his heart- a perfect beating heart with no problems. Yet, sometimes we get so comfortable in our sin and comfortable with our "old heart" we don't want to take the offer of God because we either feel unworthy, scared what our life would be like after we give it up or even scared we will fall back into temptation. But I come to you as reassurance through my own struggles and encounters with God, He never intended for us to live in fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25 says
"..she can laugh at the days to come."
We have been given a joy through the Lord to laugh and rejoice for the future. He didn't give us a spirit of fear but rather a spirit of boldness to look at the future and say "I may not know what you hold for me but I know that my God is strong and has my best interest at hand. He has offered me his heart so that I can overcome temptation and be excited for what He has planned for me in the future that glorifies Him." God has a plan and purpose for your life that involves His heart that he has offered you. You can't pursue this plan or purpose until you have fully turned from your sin. You have to stop living off the beat of your old heart and let your new heart be the beat of your drum.
Romans 8 illustrates a raging war; a war against the spirit and the flesh. The Spirit (the heart offered to you by God) has an agenda of no condemnation. It offers a life that sets you free, a life full of peace, a life that labels us as a child of God and his spirit dwells in us. Most importantly it DOESN'T make us slaves anymore; no more being a slave to sin and fear! Hallelujah!
Now, on the other hand the flesh has an agenda to destroy. Simple as that. It has come to make you have selfish pride and live for your desires for yourself. The flesh is weak, it will fall for anything.  It is hostile to God and doesn't want to submit itself to the laws of God because it is comfortable in its sin and doesn't want to surrender itself to a new master- Christ. The flesh cant please God. So today is the day were you decide which team am I on? It has already been set in history that the Spirit will win the war, and yes the flesh may win a couple battles and overcome you but when you are in the Spirit it's easy to stand back up, repent, and fight harder against the devil. I don't know about you but I'm choosing the winning team. The Spirit will have a sweet victory- eternal life in Heaven. I want that! I want to fight for that in this war! That's my motivation everyday... to fight in this war everyday, because everyday I become closer to being with my Savior for life! If that's not enough motivation for you then I don't know what is. If you're choosing to be on the team for the Spirit welcome aboard! Now God has equipped us with a strategy to help fight in this war. He tells us in Ephesians 6:11-20
^"11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
My favorite part in this was verse 18. Prayer is key. Whatever you're lacking, pray about it. Whatever you need, pray about it. Whatever you have, pray about it. Pray about any and everything. I hope this has gotten you ready to fight in this raging war. I am here as a fellow warrior to help you get through these hard battles. I am praying for you in those times where you are faced with temptation. I pray you see the way out God has given you. I pray you become a bold mighty warrior in Christ and temptation and sin realizes you are so grounded in your faith that it doesn't even try to bother you anymore. We have been called to be conquers in Christ, therefore we have the power to be victorious in the battles of this raging war!
Stay Blessed!~