Since being here at the University of
Arkansas, I've been faced with a very big battle called temptation. Being six
and a half hours away from my parents its every kids dream to finally have
freedom but for me its been a nightmare. This freedom in this unknown place has
opened up so many opportunities for temptation to come in, it’s kind of
overwhelming. I'm so used to having boundaries being set for me and a list of do's
and don'ts from my parents to protect me but being here there are no boundaries
and there are no rules. Being me, I'm not used to that. Growing up in Keller, I
believe I was blessed to be around the kids in my community because even though
some of them in my school were doing bad things it still was a great majority
of us who weren't. That majority of us were known around school as the
Christians. Wellbeing at a college with over 25,000 people it's hard to pick
out the real Christians because there are so many people! It has been hard for
me to find a community of people that I feel like I genuinely belong. Don't get
me wrong, I have met wonderful girls on campus who I feel I can really just
open up to especially Britni and Abby but still I feel so lonely. Being here, I
have been faced with multiple temptations such as drugs, drinking, partying,
sexual immortality and so forth. It has been so hard fighting those things;
maintain good grades, and trying to have a social life. I honestly ask myself every
day is it even worth it. When it comes to being a Christian I am very hard on
myself, so when I fall into temptation I beat myself up about it because I am
trying so hard to be a perfect Christian, but God made me realize there is no
such thing as a perfect Christian. I always knew that but the thought of
Christians being set part made me feel like we were supposed to be perfect. Yet
again, God humbly reminded me that being a Christian is not easy. We are set
apart as in when we do fall we get right back up, repent and continue through
this journey. I know personally, when I fall back into temptation, I become
scared to face God and avoid Him for a while and start doing things I used to
do. In the Bible, when Jesus approached Simon Peter he states that
Mark 1:16-18
"Now as he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him."
"Now as he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him."
Jesus offered Peter a new title in life. No more
would he be a fisherman of fish but a fisherman of men and spread the gospel.
He was giving him an opportunity to take a leap out of His comfort zone and
live a new life and work for a new master. That's what God does for us. He has
offered us all a new job as fishermen of men. Think about it, this job comes
with enduring suffering, letting go of your pride, steering away from sin and
spreading the Gospel for one big paycheck of eternal life. In the requirements
for this job he didn't promise it would be easy, he told us when we fall to get
back up again and continue to fight in this raging war, yet so many of us fall
after we are doing so good and we get scared because we feel like we
messed up forever and we are hypocrites so we avoid God. We end up going back
to doing things we feel comfortable doing because we don't want to face
conviction.
Luke 5:4-5
"Simon answered, “Master, we’ve
worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I
will let down the nets.”
We start to feel like we aren't useful to God's plan
anymore. Peter went through the same thing. He knew so much about the fishing
business and being back to where he was comfortable, he had no hope because he
was just so sure that they weren't going to catch anything. This happens to us
as well. We fall back into our sin which we were once comfortable in and don't
think God can use us in that situation, as if He won’t meet us where we are and
work miracles. God loves to come in the midst of our storms that we caused and
remind us He is Lord and can make all things work together for our good to
bring glory to His name.
Luke 5:6-11
6 When
they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began
to break. 7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat
to come and help them and they came and filled both boats so full that they
began to sink.8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’
knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9 For
he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and
so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said
to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” 11 So
they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.”
When we are in the midst of falling into sin,
feeling condemnation and going back to the worldly things that we once loved
we, God comes in and proves to us again just how powerful He is and how he
still wants to use us. I know, from dealing with situations like this recently
I have learned that we as Christians are scared to be out of our comfort zone.
Speaking for myself, I start going so hard after God then get scared I'm going
to fall back into sin and start pursing God as much and eventually I fall back
into sin; which is a tactic from Satan. He uses fear of the future to draw us
away from God. But I assure you, if it's a sin you fear constantly that you
will fall for again then you haven't fully surrendered that sin over to God,
this is something I struggle with too. But find peace in the fact that when you
do surrender it you are giving it to a King who has the power to break you free
from the bondage that that sin put you in. You won’t deal with it anymore and
when Satan tries to bring it back into your life, you will be more powerful
than before and can withstand the temptation. It's definitely a process, but
God doesn't want you comfortable with that anymore, and I know you don't want
to be comfortable with that sin anymore. I pray that the thought of whatever
you are being tempted with becomes disgusting to you and you despise it. I pray
that God breaks those chains and you will no longer feel scared about what the
future holds because you know your future is being held in the hands of a
glorious heart, I hope that you find comfort in the uncomfortable and your
heart desires God's desires and you take a leap out in faith.
God Bless! ~
