For about four years now I would faithfully perm my hair and put weave in my hair. Whether it was glued in or sewed in, as long as I had hair in my head I felt confident. Throughout high school, I went through many different hairstyles. From braided fohawks to a side-shaved hairstyle, I decided the summer before I started college at the University of Arkansas I would stop wearing weave and get my hair cut. I got a Rihanna/Megan Good haircut and loved it. I even bleached it for two weeks, then quickly died it back black. Every hairstyle comes with a price. The price with that haircut was continually perming my hair more to keep it looking decent. I even permed it after bleaching my hair (I know, that wasn't the smartest idea but I didn't care)! When I didn't get a perm I felt helpless and ugly, so I tried quickweaves and began obsessively gluing hair into my head and falling for the lies that I would hear, "I think you should keep long hair. It looks better on you!" So weave became my best friend again! Without it my self-esteem was low. I started to spiritually go through things during this process and couldn't handle it anymore. After long talks with my best friend, Cierra who recently went natural to and consulting with my stylist, the only thing left to save my hair was to just cut off all my damaged hair. At first I was like "whatever it's just hair" but then I became scared. I started to fall for the lies Satan was putting in my head "you're not small enough to pull of this look" "you wont look right" "you will be judged" but then suddenly I heard God's voice. He told me "I made you in my perfect image. You do not judge yourself off of man's judgment, but evaluate yourself from my perspective. I am the only one who knows your heart. You are beautifully and wonderfully made inside and out. You are a masterpiece and I love you." God gave me the courage to boldly cut my hair off and start over. My permed hair represented years and months of me trying to appease the eyes of man and be socially accepted. My new look is me no longer being oppressed by man, but I am a free soul who loves herself because God made me through His perfect image for me. Man's distorted blinded by judgment eyes have no say in how I view myself and I love my new look because God gave me insight on how He views me and how I should view myself. For all the women out there struggling, turn to Proverbs 11:22. The NIV translation states that, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Imagine a nasty filthy stinky pig with a beautiful gold ring hooked through its snout; it's useless! That's exactly how beauty is without good judgment. You could be the world's most beautiful woman ever but could be depressed on the inside. Beauty isn't nothing but a mere accessory, all that matters is what is on the inside. Real beauty is from within. Remember "no one else can love God like you love Him, because you were made unique in His heart, you were made to bring Him joy. You have a purpose and destiny, he made you for His glory. Everything you do, do for Him. Cutting my hair made Him happy because I listened to Him and I began to love myself for who I am in His eyes. God is so good!
Stay Blessed!~
